If you don’t want to read it, you can watch this video.
A common issue that comes up is the question about what you deserve versus what you earn. For many people, that concept is a problem. It’s problematic in a major way, because you hear it all the time.
Let’s take you, for instance, the people watching this video. I don’t deserve your views. I have to EARN your views. If I’m not witty, funny, serious, wise or whatever makes you come back to the channel, you’re going away.
That’s very, very fair. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. It’s a very equitable playing field in my mind. But for many people, there’s something wrong with that because they feel entitled to your views. They feel entitled to your time. I look at it as…I have to come up with videos. I have to discuss certain things to earn your views.
When you buy one of my books or join one of my courses, I have to earn your money. That’s how I look at it.
When you are in that space where you feel that you are entitled to certain things, it is a very, very ugly trap. It creates a lot of problems. It creates a lot of unhappiness.
One of the biggest lies on the planet is…”I went to college, therefore I deserve a great job. I have college credentials and skills, therefore I deserve a certain amount of money.” No, you don’t.
What you will earn is what the marketplace will pay for whatever skill sets you have to offer the marketplace. That’s what’s going to happen.
Sometimes I figure that I am the therapist of entrepreneurs because I’ve been there. It’s a lonely thing to be an entrepreneur, especially if you are in a family where people tend to frown on that type of thing.
I was talking to one of my clients, and she was talking about what she deserved. I always get into life goals because one thing you should do is get your life goals together before you get your business goals together, so they will mesh.
If you don’t do this, you can have a very successful business and be miserable because your business does not facilitate your life goals.
Then she said to me…” I find it challenging to date.”
I asked, “Why?”
At this point, I didn’t know what she looked like. It turns out, she’s an attractive woman. She’s forty. I know women don’t want to hear this, but your value declines, the older you get. Hate me if you want to. It’s true.
She said “I deserve a good man.”
Typically, what you are as a person is what you will draw into your life. When I am full of fuckery, and I’m about bullshit, I will draw exactly that into my life. Anytime I am with someone that is inappropriate for me, it’s because I have inappropriate behavior.
I told her, “If you are attracting bad guys, it’s something in you. I gave her my speech about what you earn is what you deserve.
I said…” I don’t know what you look like, but I am going to take your word you are attractive. You are clearly smart. Apparently, you are real successful and you are going to be even more successful.”
I continued to explain to her. “Most men don’t give two shits about how much money you make. If you are attractive to that guy, that’s enough. I have had friends who have married women they didn’t really know because she was hot. That’s serious. This is for men who are not evolved.
I told her, “This is what you do. You get girlie. Be more feminine.”
Every woman who is a friend of mine who has listened to my advice to the letter has gotten a man or gotten married. Why? Because I am a dude.
This is where women go wrong. You use the same criteria in your head that you use to evaluate men, and expect men to judge you that way. We do not.
I told her, “If you want to have a relationship with a man, you are going to have to change who you are.” I know people are throwing shit at their phones and computers right now because I said that.
Because, the thing is, if what you are is good enough, why don’t you have it? Because, it’s not. I’m telling you, I’ve done this myself. When I am in my higher self, the women that walk into my life or that pop up at Publix, the gas station, Target or wherever are fucking amazing.
When you get your inner world together, your outer world will reflect that. No one is immune to this shit.
There are many people that feel that because they breathe, the world owes them.
Like this thing with the minimum wage, it is not going to work out. Raise it all you want to, it’s going to cause some dire consequences.
I want you to think about what you’ve really earned in life. In the book I’m working on, The 50 Laws of Hustling, one of the laws will tell you not to build a kingdom in a thimble. This is what people do.
People will take this event or circumstance, something that in the grand scheme of things is very small and they will build a kingdom in it. Then, when that thimble is rocked, their world is rocked. That’s what my client was doing with the whole relationship thing.
Women, if you want a dude, here’s the three Fs.
Be his friend.
Now the first one is the hardest one. This is being a dude’s friend. He can tell you any old thing and you don’t lose your affection for him. That will actually have the dude open up to you like he’s never opened up to anyone before.
But if the minute he says something you don’t like, you jump all over him, he’s going to lock down. He isn’t going to tell your ass anything relevant again. He’s just going to fuck you until some better chick comes along.
It’s going back to the idea of what you earn is what you deserve.
A lot of men want to get married. Men are afraid of marrying the wrong woman. That’s the big scare.
When you are earning your life, something else happens. You will bring other people into your life who also try to earn. You will start to subconsciously reject people who are not appropriate for your life.
When you earn your life, you change who you are as a person. If your life is not what you want it to be, then you need to change. As someone who wants to earn their life, there are some steps you must be willing to take.
Number 1 – You must be accountable for your fuckups.
So, understand, to really earn your life, it’s going to take you on a different route than the safe, predictable, don’t-rock-the-boat” path.
One of the tenets of my life philosophy is “I’d rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.”
I would rather fuck-up than not try because I fear fucking up. No. I’m not fearless. I do a lot of stuff and there’s a lot of fear in my belly.
That’s how you move forward. That’s how you build a life of design and intent.
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