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What do I mean by this title, How Your Vision of Success Keeps You Broke? Let me break it down for you. If your vision of success is filled with things that do not make your heart beat with joy, it can certainly prevent the success you claim you want.
If you want to be successful, you must make sure that your vision for success is in direct agreement with your core values. There are people who have big houses and that is not part of their core values, and they are miserable. They have rooms they don’t even go in because they’re living someone else’s vision of success.
When you make a conscious choice to live a life of design, one of conception versus one of happenstance, you start to develop a certain filter. The filter is a wonderful thing. I live in an affluent neighborhood and I’ve noticed that there are some folks who have not renovated their home. A lot of these houses were built in the 50s and 60s. I see people in this neighborhood who drive older cars and put their money elsewhere.
If you haven’t explored your core values, you could be living a life that is a big façade. You look great. You look wonderful. Your friends envy you and want “that life.” But, you go home and cry yourself to sleep. There are people living like that.
Another way your vision of success can keep you broke is because it is totally unrealistic. Let’s give you an example. Say you’re a 56-year-old woman and you want to meet a fine financially stable dude to get pregnant and have kids. It is scientifically possible, but the chances of it being likely are slim to none.
When you build your vision of success on false steps, there’s no surprise if you crash and burn. Part of having an accurate vision of success is knowing what makes you tick. You have to know what makes you get up in the morning with a smile on your face ready for the day. It is crucial that you know that stuff before you build your vision of success. If you don’t, you’re using the dreams of others. You might be hijacking someone else’s vision of success because you’re too lazy to create your own.
People rationalize, “Well that’s good enough for Tim.” Yet Tim defined his vision of success and he’s happy as a pig with a mouthful of peaches. You have hijacked Tim’s vision of success and you’re miserable because you stole it. It’s not yours. You didn’t earn it. You didn’t build it. You didn’t make it happen.
You have to define your vision of success on your own terms based on your core values. If you don’t, you’re going to run into a hardware and software incompatibility which is also called a crash. If your internal core values do not match up well with what you are externally trying to obtain, you will be sad and miserable. When the sadness reaches a certain point, you will get rid of it by choice or you’ll do something to fuck it up.
This is why we see people who purportedly have it all and they’re on drugs, they’re drinking. They are doing all of this self-destructive stuff. The reason is because they are living a life out of alignment.
Another way your vision of success can jack up your life, is if you really don’t give a shit about yourself. You are doing things for the adulation and the praise of others versus seriously doing the hard work to figure out what you care about. What’s your thing? Everyone has a different dream. Everyone has a different set of skills sets, gifts and personality traits.
There are too many people who are following someone, who is following someone, who is following someone. This was in Earl Nightingale’s book, Lead the Field. It’s called following the follower who is following the follower. If they were actually following the leader, it wouldn’t be so bad.
There are so many things you can do if you get on the path of self-discovery and exploration. When you adopt other people’s vision of success, you’re robbing yourself of some of the most powerful gifts you have because your gifts are not designed to be used for other people’s visions of success. That’s why you are where you are. That’s why things are going where they’re going. You just don’t seem to understand. You asked yourself, “How do I get out of this place?”
I’m going to tell you. You stop what you’re doing. Take a deep breath. Start to ask yourself, “What makes me happy?” You know what makes you happy. What fills up your happy tank? If it’s not something that is socially widespread and desirable, so fucking what. Have the courage to be yourself.
I have a saying. One of the hardest things in life to do is to have the courage to be yourself. Many people are just not that brave. Think about it.
Everybody’s not chasing money. Everybody’s not chasing fame. I’m not suggesting being Boo Boo the Fool and living in a mud hut. What I am saying is if you tap into your gifts and do the work you do well, sharing it with other people; you may have more money than you’ll ever need in your life. This is preferable to this other fabricated, contrived, commercially packaged idea of what success should be.
Many people think happiness is something that comes from external sources. Happiness is internally generated. It’s an inside job. You have to make yourself happy and then you can share your happiness with other people.
If you are depending on other people to make you happy, then you are a slave to the whims of other people. You’ve entrusted your joy to someone else. How can you be pissed off if they mishandle it?
Living your life and chasing your vision of life may disappoint some people. You are making them reflect on their own choices. When someone is judging you, they are also judging themselves. They may not realize it, but that’s where the judgement comes from.
I have found out that living your life for other people can be a very disappointing explanation into personal and emotional chaos. It’s been my experience when I did it at as a young person. Think about it.
Even if you have kids, you can still make the choice to live a life of design and purpose. There’s no age limit. Don’t limit yourself.
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