Monday Morning Pep Talk the Elegance of Failure

If you don’t want to read it, you can watch this video.

I want you to understand something. Failure is part of the grand plan. Failure is not a bad thing. Now, let me break that down for you. That doesn’t mean when it happens that you want to jump up and throw a party.

Even though failure is part of the process, it is a hard thing to embrace. Once you learn how to do that, the benefits are so tremendous, it ain’t funny. I’ll give you an example. In the beginning, my YouTube videos sucked. There were so many I deleted. When I look back at some of them now, I can’t believe I did them. Sometimes, it was a waste of breath. But, it’s a process.

There were so many mistakes in my first book. I took a lot of criticism and spent a lot of money making things better. I had a book buyback program and sent them a new copy free of charge. I even paid for the shipping. That was failure.

Two other books came out of that. When you embrace failure, it always leads to something better. My other books came from failure.

Many of the opportunities that came to me came from failure. When the producers were contacting me about reality shows, I’ll be honest, I was a bit of an ass. Let’s just be real. A lot of time on reality shows, you end up looking like a dumb ass. I don’t think I was really sold on it, because I didn’t play well in the sandbox. That was failure.

Because of that failure and because I maintained my integrity, some other great opportunities came my way that were better. You have to learn how to fail. Failing is not having bad outcomes and being happy about. You’re going to be upset about it. You should be upset. But then get over it. Learn the lessons that are right there in front of your face, then build.

I’ll give you another example of failure and this was a massive, massive failure on my part. A friend of mine recommended me for a position. I had an opportunity with two different companies. Since I already committed to the smaller company I went with it even though the other one paid more. The guy said, “Because you kept your word, I’ll put me in line for an even better opportunity.”

When you embrace failure, you move forward. It’s not fun, but you have to do it. Stop looking at failure as a dirty word. It is the grand part of life. You can’t get around it.

I’m going to give you an example of when you failed over and over again and it didn’t scar you. You don’t even remember it. Everyone went through it. When you were a little bitty baby and you were crawling around with your diaper on and you start climbing up on furniture because you wanted to walk. You climbed up and you fell. You climbed up and you fell. Then one day, you’re doing it.

Let’s look at the context of that failure. Everybody was on your side. Everybody was trying to help you learn how to walk. You got support at every turn. You fell down and they picked you up. You walked a bit and you got instant approval. Your parents are not going to do that for you now because you’re older. What you have to do is give yourself that approval every time you make a step in the right direction. You have to learn how to pick up the pieces and put them back together again. If you can learn that skillset, it will get your through so many things in life, it is not funny.

You can’t look for things to be perfect. They are not going to be perfect. They’re going to be okay. Most of the time, things go well. But, you have to work with what you get. Conditions are not always optimal for doing what you want. You have to make those conditions optimal.

As I’ve gotten older, I realize that growing up poor is one of the best lessons I could have had in life. I didn’t have stuff growing up as a kid. That period of lack made me very resourceful and ultra-creative.

For example, I knew my mother didn’t have money for a weight set so a fashioned a weight set out of an axel from a car. I put it up in this tree and that’s how I did my pull ups. There was this bucket that someone left out that had cement in it. I used that too. I took stuff from around my neighborhood and turned that into my gym. Many people are delaying their own maturity because they keep avoiding dealing with problems. They avoid dealing with failure.

We tend to regret the things we don’t do more so than the fuckups we commit. I’ve seen that throughout life. When I worked in the hospital I saw it. If you want to do something, do it. If it doesn’t work out, at least you know. If it does work out, it’s going to be a beautiful thing.

One of the hardest things in life is for people to have the courage to be themselves. I got criticized by a lot of people because of the way I manage this channel. People told me to change. I said no. Whether you like me or not, you get authenticity. This is me. This is my life. This is how I went from being a poor little kid who spend six years in special ed. To actually owning businesses and becoming a successful writer in a recession.

A lot of people read the books and want to start a business, but they don’t do anything because they are afraid of failure. Go ahead and do it. Cry and bitch. Go out and get drunk, but then get over it and move on. If you can get your mental environment good, there’s nothing you can’t do. That’s where it all starts.

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