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The psychology of success is so important when you are getting started during that rough and shaggy phase when things aren’t crisp and clean. That hard phase is when many people give up.
I looked at what happened about five months ago when I had a pinched nerve in my left shoulder and it seriously impacted my bench overhead press. I could do it, but it hurt. It felt like something was sliding and I’m telling you a pinched nerve is a trip.
So, I went ahead and went through rehab and kept working it out because if you’ve ever been through real rehab, you know that shit hurts. I kept working it out and then one day I was pressing and there was no pain.
I looked at that beginning stage. I looked at the weight. I looked at the reps. What was hard at that point in time is not even my warmup weight now. The psychology of success is about weathering that beginning phase when the results aren’t coming fast enough. It’s the “money is not coming in” phase. You just have to rock and roll and stick with it.
That’s one of the reasons I think so many people do not have the lives they want because they do not work through that rough rugged phase. It’s coming. You have to have faith. My success today was predicated on what happened five months ago. If what I did five months ago did not happen, I would not be doing what I am doing today. There’s a direct correlation between effort, strategy, and consistency and the results you get.
Mindset is a critical component of the principle of success. I was having a conversation with a friend last night and we were talking about my first book and he asked me a question. He said, “What made you think you could do it?” The answer was a little bit stunning. I told him that I didn’t think I could.
I just did it. I came up with a goal and a two-year plan. I just sat down and I did it. I didn’t think I could do it; I just did it. I don’t know if I can really explain that.
When you become a process person or a person of action, you put more emphasis on doing. When I was miserable, broke and not doing well overall in life, I was a big talker.
I talk a lot. I put out a lot of content. I’m always on YouTube doing these things. Now my talking is maybe 10% of my activity. I’m 90% action. I used to be 90% talk, 10% action. The results matched my effort.
If I can tell you anything about success, it is you must become a process driven person. Action is the greatest truth there is. Action tells you so much. It tells you what people are thinking. Let me give you an example. People say their kids are the most important thing in the world to them, but then they spend no time with them. Look at the action.
People say things like, “I could help you out man, but I’ve got stuff to do.” Then you see them on Facebook. Look at the action.
The reality is when you get to the point where you can accept the truth of what people think of you, what you think of yourself, and what the world thinks of you and go from that standpoint, you can begin to grow. As long as it is always someone else’s fault and someone else has a problem, you won’t grow. You have to be accountable.
I had a situation and I was in need. I made a conscious decision to not ask anyone for help. It was hard. It was brutal. But, when you put yourself in that process, you grow as a person and you become more self-reliant. You also become more creative.
You have to be action oriented. I understand we live in the faux self-esteem era where people tell their kids they are the best thing since sliced bread. People tell their kids they are awesome. Between the ages of five weeks old and six years old, I’m with that. At some point, accountability and truth must enter into the parenting paradigm.
You can’t tell little Johnny who is 15 years old and flunking out of school that he is a great person. He is fucking up. Little Johnny needs to hear that he is fucking up. At some point there has to be a balance of accountability. You have to tell Johnny, “These Fs aren’t acceptable.” You have to let little Johnny know that.
Many people have a problem doing this because they think it may impugn his self-esteem. If Johnny has any inkling of self-worth, he knows he’s fucked up. He’s going to resent you for co-signing on that shit.
He’s going to resent you because one-day little Johnny is going to grow up and little Johnny is going to go out into the real world and the real world is going to go, “Little Johnny, glad to meet you. I’m looking at your profile here and you’re fucked up.”
It’s better that little Johnny hears that from you and gets the proper guidance to move him into a better place. I have mixed emotions about this because I don’t know at what age a person becomes unfixable. I don’t know if that exists.
I was in my 30s when I made the big change which is typically a time when people feel you’re done. You’re fixed. You can’t grow anymore. They think it’s a wrap. I don’t really feel that way. But once again, I am an odd duck.
I wonder if some people are unfixable. Are some people unable to adapt the psychology of success and unable to move forward in life? I want to say for the sake of this video, I don’t think anybody is unfixable. I do think some people do not have enough personal investment and value on their personhood to make the effort to change.
It’s a little different than saying, “Hey you don’t have the capacity.” It’s just saying, you don’t have the will.
I look at people who are successful in life. I look at people who are trying to get to that next level in life, whatever that next level may be. They don’t have a process. They don’t want to weather that raggedy period that success is really born in. People don’t seem to understand that without the process, there are no results. The process is more important than the results.
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