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The right mindset is incredibly important in any endeavor you undertake. Many people go into many situations with the wrong mindset. They think, what if I fail. If you could do anything, anything in the world and money, time, age and gender wasn’t an issue and none of that stuff applied, what would you do with your life right now?
I asked myself that question five years ago. I’m doing it. I’m doing what I want to do. Frequently, people put obstacles, roadblocks and all of these things in their own way. They say things like, “I short. I’m black. I’m a woman.” Many people will come up with a movie of defeat before they take the first step towards success. That question for some of you has created a state of paralysis.
Some people even say things like, “God didn’t want me to have that.” “God didn’t send that man into my life.” “God didn’t send that woman into my life.” I’m challenging that, because I call bullshit on that. As many of you know, I don’t really believe in a lot of religions because I’ve seen them harm people more than I’ve seen them help people. That’s just my opinion.
This is where I am. I think God gives you everything you need to be successful and your journey in life is to uncover, enhance and build those attributes. I don’t think it is about sitting on your ass and praying all the time, wishing for things to come through. That’s what many people do in my estimation.
So, I took this person who was all God this and God that and now he says “I” and he works his ass off. The dude worked his ass off. This was the bet. My normal rate is $450 per hour. I said if this is successful, you pay me $900 per hour. He went for it. I knew what was going to happen.
After doing this for a while now, I can see what will happen. I’ve turned people away because I don’t think I can help them. There are people I simply can’t help and I know it. There’s no point in them even spending their money. Now this is where the fight started. As we were going through the sessions, business was doing okay. Now the business is booming.
This is where the problem with the wife comes in. Now that he has more money coming in, she wants to quit her job following those God principles that a man provides and protects. I told him not to let her quit her job.
I said this is what you do. You’ve got more money coming in. This is not the time for her to stand down. This is the time for her as a woman to stand up. I gave him a plan. I said this is what you do with that money.
This is the fight he has. He’s got some dissension going on in his house because he’s making more money. He’s doing the good steward thing and he’s going to church and he’s making the money in the household and his wife is not listening to him.
I told him to stand firm. He started implementing this stuff and the money started to stack up. I mean they saved more money in a manner of weeks because his business now supports the household and her money goes into a savings account. She wants to be what I call an adult child. She wants to spend her money how she wants to and he handles all the responsibilities. A real marriage or partnership does not fucking work that way.
Then it got really bad and he called me up. I said this is what you do. You go to your wife and you put this question to her. “What would you do with your life if I wasn’t here?” Then walk out of the room. Tell her to write it down and send it to you in an email. Make her use her mind.
So, he did it. She came down the stairs and she wanted to tell me and wanted to talk. I told him to remain firm in his manhood and not to engage her and fight with her. I told him to walk away. You can’t fight emotion with logic. I said if you have to get in your car and go hang out with your boys, then do that. I told him to stand firm on that. This shit went on for four weeks.
She finally did it. She had a dream of being a ballerina. He told me that. I said to tell her to go look for ballerina classes. They have then for adults. Tell her to take some and to take some time.
She did that and she found out she didn’t want to be a ballerina. It was just a whim. I had to finally talk to my consult’s wife to figure out what she really wanted to do. That’s when it came out that she wanted to be a wife. She never wanted to work and only did it because she had to. She resented her husband and when he got to that point where she could live that dream and he wasn’t with it, then she became mad.
So, I sat him down and I said, “Okay, what’s the deal?” They were a young couple. They don’t have any kids. I said, “What is this business of you staying at home when there are no kids to raise?” She said that she was his wife. I said, “Okay. What are your responsibilities as a wife?”
She got quiet. She got real quiet. I said, “This is common. You are so invested in his role that you don’t know what your role is.”
I think you need to go to your church and find one of those women that is 50 or 60 years old and ask them, what is your role as a wife. So, everybody talked and this is the kicker. She doesn’t want to have children and he does. He never knew that.
It gets real in the G-verse. She wants to stay at home. She doesn’t want to have children and she wants him to essentially be her Daddy, not her husband, but her Daddy.
We talked some more and I gave her some G-love. She admitted she had no good role models in her family for this situation. So. She’s working on it.
This is a situation that is boiling. I know when a guy wants to have kids, he wants to have kids. If it’s not with her, he will find somebody.
This is why when I consult with people I asked them, what do you want to do with your life. Many people build a business and then try to build a life. You should build your life. You should know what you want to do. You should have your dreams and stuff. This guy’s business model is sweet.
This is why I ask you, what do you want to do. If there were no issues in your way like money, what do you want to do. The second part is for you to start doing that today. What so many people find out after they investigate a dream is that they don’t really want to do it. We tend to romanticize dreams. You will never know what you want to do until you try it.
This is some food for thought.
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