If you don’t want to read it, you can watch this video.
When I was ass out due to poor decisions, I had the wrong mindset. When I started to transition and to improve my mindset to have a better perspective about how the real-world works, there was this big beast in my life. That beast was fear.
I was making moves, but I was backsliding. I would do something right and the results would be great. That would scare me. I know it sounds crazy. It literally scared me to actually progress because I was changing. At the time, I was a bum falling far short of my potential. That fear is real. Unless you address it and deal with it, it will pull you back. You will make gains only to mentally trip yourself up. I did that several times.
Then one day, I had a conversation with myself. I’m going to give you the process on how to deal with fear. I sat down and I asked myself, “What is going to be the worst thing that is going to happen?” Because when you make these changes and things improve, the fear is in your head and it is talking. Fear says, “Is it going to last? Are people going to like you?” The fear talk goes on and on.
It talks to you while you sleep. It’s constant. You’ve got to deal with it because it is not going to go anywhere. You have to grab fear by the throat and choke the shit out of it. You’re going to have new friends. You’re going to potentially have a new job. You’ll have a new house, a new business, a new wife or a new husband, I’m just saying. This is some of the stuff that happens.
So, as you get on this road of metamorphosis, it can be a scary thing because so many things in your life will change because of your success. If the people in your circle are not supporting you, and you’re being real and putting forth the effort, those are people who don’t need to be in your circle. What is the purpose of keeping people in your life who are shooting daggers at you and your efforts?
So, ask yourself these questions, and name out everything when you do. If you’re married ask yourself: if I do this, will I lose my wife or husband. As you pull those fears out of your head, write them down somewhere. Then come up with solutions.
For example. let’s say you have been a total fuckup and your wife is at the breaking point. You know that if you do one more thing wrong, regardless of how good the intent is, then she’s gone. How are you going to deal with that? You’ve got to ask yourself: Is it worth doing what you’re doing with the possibility of getting that result? She may not leave or she may. You have to prepare a contingency plan in your mind.
One of the things I have learned is that most of your worst fears will never be realized. When I wrote my first book and put it out there, some bad things happened, but 90% of the bad things I worried about didn’t happen. So, I worried about a lot of things that never happened.
As you go through this exercise of naming your fears, be true to it. Just say, I am afraid I may lose money. I am afraid I may be laughed at. Isolate these. Name them. Call them out. You’ll see that some of those fears that were living in your mind that were 80 feet tall, when you pull them out and really look at it, they were really midgets. They’re three feet tall and they’ve got a limp.
Part of dealing with your fear is facing it before it can grow into this cancer. Whatever is going on in your mental environment is real to you, which means you are going to get the same benefits or negative byproducts you would get if it actually were true.
That’s why a good book for you to get is: The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. You can get it on Amazon. That is one of my journeys right now. I am working very, very hard to stay away from negativity. I am trying not to dwell on it, not to think about it, not to touch it and not to deal with negative people. It can contaminate your success.
So, do that fear exercise and come up with a contingency plan to deal with your fears. It gives you confidence. Understand, some of the things you fear may happen. Instead of living in a life of self-induced terror, come up with a plan.
I’m going to give you one of my fears that actually came true. I was in the process of negotiating a reality show. If this thing had gone through, I would have had the first storage auction reality show. One of my fears was I was going to look like an idiot. It really held me back. If I had played ball with them and been open to pushing the deal though, it probably would have happened.
There was something in me that just kept saying, “Don’t do it.” I went through this exercise and asked myself, what if that happens. What if I become a laughingstock. What if I look like a total idiot? What if I become one of those people who goes on a reality show and loses their freaking mind?
I weighed out the consequences and stuck to my guns. As I looked at the other people who did get shows, in my opinion their lives became fucked. Yes, I admit, they made a lot of money in a very short period of time. But, that’s “now” thinking. What about the next year and the year after? At this juncture, I think Dave Hester probably wishes he had never gotten into it. You can’t go back once you’ve crossed a certain bridge.
So, I went through the fear exercise and decided that the price if that fear was realized would have caused me to lose too much self- respect. Sometimes dealing with fear head on will liberate you and save you.
Now, with the book, I had a ton of fear. Even though some of the things I feared did happen, I still think it was one of the best things I ever did. Writing that first book is up in the top five best things I’ve done. The benefits kicked the negative byproducts in the ass.
When you’re starting something new, you can’t go in there weak with your head down. You have to go in like you are going to win. Going in with fear laden thought processes is a sure way to lose.
As you address your fears and go through this process, be sure to think about the benefits. Sometimes being successful means getting your ass kicked a few times. You have to remember that when you get your ass kicked, that’s not the end of the world. That’s not the end of your dream.
If you want to be successful, go through this fear exercise and come up with a contingency plan. Going through this and thinking about it will give you the strength to persevere.
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